Gods Presence

Deuteronomy 33:27 The eternal God is your refuge, and underneath are the everlasting arms. 

In contemplation recently – a realization, an uncovering was made to me by God of all of the times that I had questioned His Presence.

Questioning God is not something that has happened in the past few years, but there were times when I thought my faith was so rocksolid, so definitively sound, I thought nothing could ever rock my world so much that I would say after the incident, “Where were You?” You know, in those times, it really did bother me a lot – to know that I was questioning again, His Reality, like I did when I was a child.

Isaiah 30:15 In repentance and rest is your salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength.

We have all had those critical moments in life where we are either on the edge, at a crossroad, or going into a place of desolation – wondering, where was He in that moment and if He loved me, why would He allow something to happen that would forever change the reality of life?

Isaiah 43:1 “Don’t fear, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name; you are Mine.”

As we age, along comes wisdom, understanding and knowing Him in Truth. And so coming from a different place, a healthier spiritual place, I was thinking about those incidences in my life …

* Where was God, when I cried myself to sleep, listening to my parents fight at night?

God was in the wind, outside of my window and He was in the trees, that gentle sound of the wind, just hitting the leaves to start a beautiful harmony that would comfort me – amidst the screaming. There was not one time that I did not end up falling asleep listening to the sound of the wind in the trees.

* Where was God, when I was living in a car and sleeping in shelters with my mother? Did He not care about me and my mom?

God was in the warmth of the comfortable bed that I had that evening. He was in the smiles of the volunteers at the shelters that made me feel like I was a human being. I saw God in the woman that hugged my mother and told her it would be okay.

* Where was God when I was being physically abused by my mother, leaving bruises on only the hidden parts that people could not see on my body?

God was there that day in school, when He told me to go see my school nurse, because the next time I may not make it out alive.

* Where was God when I did what it is that He asked me to do in school that day and I was then sitting in the office?

God was there when I was asked if I wanted to go live with my dad, I felt that brave surge, which I now know is the Holy Spirit, guiding me to say that I did not want to go with either one of my parents – that I chose a foster home instead. 

* Where was God when I would go to the foster home and I felt so alone and so unsure and was asking myself, “What did I just do?”

God was there, in the woman that He chose for me, would ultimately bring me to Him and to the Blessed Mother Mary. Jesus brought me to someone who would forever change my life.

* Where was God, the night that an adult man held a knife to my neck as a teenager and took my innocence away?

God was there, He was there on the way that the light was reflecting on the wall. The way that the trees played off of the light, it brought me to a different place for that moment, a place where I felt the Presence of God without knowing it was Him in that moment. God was there in the courtroom when the judge had compassionate eyes and made me feel safe to testify.

If we all stop and really assess some of the most defining moments in our life, we will see that God was there in each one of those moments.

Why doesn’t He stop things from happening? Because God has given all of us a free will.

What Jesus will do, is if each one of us is willing to take our crosses and to unite them with His Cross, with His Suffering, He will turn our tragedies around to help one of our fellow brothers and or sisters that have gone through something like what we have. This is the ultimate goal in life, is to help another fellow soul get through some hard time by showing that you are a survivor and you came out on the other side even better than when you went in.

2 Corinthians 12:9-10 – And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Satan Never Attacks the Same Way Twice

The past 24 hours has reminded me of walking in the desert with the Israelites. In my life, Satan never attacks me the same way twice. The closer I get to God, Satans attack’s are different than they were years ago. My walk with God began when I was 15. I thought I knew Satans attacks and when to be careful to not fall into his trap.

Like how God meets us where we are, Satan knows where God is meeting us and stands at the fork in the road. Gods Grace enlightened me this morning in the midst of silence about the attack from Satan. He told me He allowed it and Satan wanted me to fall, that Satan wants me badly and to be vigilant.

If you are under attack, you may not even know, if you are feeling at odds with yourself, ask God to reveal what is going on.

Your prayers helped me tremendously. Intercessory prayer is one of the main must haves in life, in more than one way.

January 24, 2016

I awoke this morning and laid in bed. I haven’t been in a good place for a few days and my Faith has been tested. I asked God what more can I do. I immediately saw Simon helping Jesus carry His Cross. Jesus kept dropping the cross He was carrying, the cross He was to be crucified on. Simon stepped out of from the crowd and helped Jesus. Simon took part of the suffering of Jesus.

I felt a sudden peace come over my whole body. I felt God tell me to partake in her suffering. To help her in the only way that I can. I will be there for her just as Simon was there for Jesus. I cannot pray this cross away. This is something that she must go through. God showed me her healthy, in Heaven and assured me that when her time on earth is over that she will be walking the Emerald streets in Heaven. (Revelation 21:1)

Today, from now on, I promise that I will have a happy heart, I will remember the promise that God put into my heart this morning. I will keep that vision of my Mother healthy in body and mind. She was born into tragedy and now she’s dying a tragic death. Her life has never been easy, from the moment that she was born. One day, I will share her life story and it will have a happy ending ❤️ I love you so much Mom ❤️ We will carry this cross together. I promise you. ❤️

Redemptive Suffering

As iron is fashioned by fire and on the anvil, so in the fire of suffering and under the weight of trials, our souls receive that form which our Lord desires them to have.

–St. Madeline Sophie Barat

“What do you mean that you are going to offer up your sufferings for the souls in Purgatory and the people that are here on earth? ”

The above statement is a question that I get asked. My answer to the question always is, “I do not believe in letting any kind of suffering go in vain. “

So, how can your suffering help another person on our shared earth? It starts with you wanting to let your pain, hurt, insults and whatever else is going on at this time in your life – for the better of another.

Do you believe, that there is a payoff from holding onto your hurts?

If God gives you an abundant harvest of trials, it is a sign of great holiness which He desires you to attain. Do you want to become a great saint? Ask God to send you many sufferings. The flame of Divine Love never rises higher than when fed with the wood of the Cross, which the infinite charity of the Savior used to finish His sacrifice. All the pleasures of the world are nothing compared with the sweetness found in the gall and vinegar offered to Jesus Christ. That is, hard and painful things endured for Jesus Christ and with Jesus Christ.

–Saint Ignatius of Loyola

The most unselfish thing that any one of us can do, is to let go of our hurts. We hold onto them, because in reality, we get something from holding on to the hurt, isn’t that true? What is it that we get from holding onto it? Why would we not just let it go when we know how we feel every time we think about it? Maybe perhaps it is because it is a protective barrier that we put around ourselves, an excuse to not speak to the person, or to confront the situation that has caused us grief. Change is always painful and it comes down to this, you can either decide to stay in the current state that you are- mentally, emotionally and especially spiritually, or you can take that dive and give up all of your hurts and angers; give them to God. Offer it as a sacrifice for the person that made you feel this way. If anyone needs help, it is the person that hurt you.

Prayer for finding Peace 🕊

Dear God, I don’t want to feel this way anymore. I feel like so much of my life has been spent on going back in my mind, about the hurts that have been done to me. I do want to move on and it is not that I am forgetting that they hurt me, it is that I am choosing happiness for myself, instead. Please help me during this time in my life and in all other times. I choose to forgive for myself and for You. Amen.

Offer up your hurts for the better of another person. Never let your suffering go in vain, any kind of suffering, even the suffering that you see as you watch the evening news, God will take those sufferings that you have and will use them for the good of another person. You must leave them at the Foot of the Cross. There is no other way.

The only thing we have in common is the same Empire.

The only thing we have in common is the same Empire.

Over time I’ve discovered there is no absolute finish line for everyone in the race of life. Our tracks are different and our duration’s are different.

The only thing we have in common is the same empire. For instance, one person graduates at age 20 and struggles for another 5 years to get a job, another might graduate  at 25 and get a job immediately. One can marry a virgin and wait for the next decade to have the blessing of children, another lady probably after having series of abortions in her past, becomes a mother almost immediately after marriage. A fellow becomes MD at 38 and dies at 56, another becomes MD at 55 and lives to 90. What a life! Life is full of twists, turns, ups and downs and many more surprises and disappointments.

Life offers each and everyone of us different opportunities, and once an opportunity is lost, it’s gone forever except by the grace of God.

It is up to each one of us to patiently prepare, wait, recognize and utilize every opportunity. We learn on the way.

No one has it all or knows it all.

There is a reason why we all don’t fall at the same time, It’s so that when one is down, weak and discouraged, the other who is strong can encourage and lift the other person. God never promises that the road would be easy, but He promised never to leave or forsake us.

Although life is complicated, let us learn to go easy on ourselves and trust that God is working it all out for our good (even if it doesn’t make sense now). Whatever trials, challenges or down times we face, all shall pass, and in due course, we will be up and strong again to lift up those who may be down around us.


Credit to Delali Godwin Adadzie – (re-shared from a friend.)

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