A Mother’s Heart

Sometimes the strength of motherhood is greater than natural laws.” – Barbara Kingsolver

This year, I turned 44 years old. My sons are 26 years old and 20 years old. Some of my friends children are grown like mine, although not many, and many are just beginning their lives with children.

I get asked questions from new moms, moms with teenagers and even moms with adult children about the journey of Motherhood.

As I was having dinner with my husband this evening, we started to talk about a subject that had not been brought up in quite a while. About our oldest son, Ryan. When I was pregnant with Ryan, I found out at 11 weeks that my son was either going to have down syndrome or be a little person. The ultrasound showed that all of his limbs were very small and it also showed many characteristics of Down Syndrome. My husband and I were advised to go to Boston that afternoon to meet with a team of specialists. We did go to Boston and that story, I believe is in another blog post.

Fast forward, Ryan was born perfectly fine. My labor was almost 48 hours and I gave birth to Ryan at 1:30 in the morning.

After the nurses left, the doctors, all is finally quiet, I looked over to my right and Joey was sound asleep on the couch, I looked over to my left and I saw the miracle that God has bestowed upon me. I had just turned 18 years old, two weeks before Ryan’s birthday and I was fully prepared for raising a sick child.

As I looked over to my left and I saw Ryan, I asked God, “he’s OK, what happened” Internally I ‘heard’ “He will serve me one day.” I did not know what that meant at that moment as I had just found my way to God as a teenager and was very early in my journey but it’s a moment that I never forgot about. I never told my son about it and still have not to this day. I believe in my heart I know what God was trying to say that day to me especially at my age but I will never know.

As a mother, I want what my son wants. And sometimes that is hard, because we see our children going down a path that may be more difficult, and it is in those moments, in the heart of a mother, that we need to leave all preconceived conceptions at the door and love our children for their uniqueness and beautiful mind. Because that is what God does for each one of us.

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